But Officer...

Q: Dear 100 HRB,

All right, time to put you back to work hrb... when does an enforced speed limit go into effect, at the sign itself, or when you lay eyes on it?

Pat

A: Dear Speedy,

A local, municipal police officer pulls over a young businessman driving a new, shiny BMW. Behind mirrored shades, he approaches the window of the car. "Son, I've been waiting for you all day."

"Well officer. I tried to get here as quickly as possible."

In order to answer your question, the 100 Hour Board undertook several approaches. General research helped some. So did asking others. We even decided to speed and get caught so we could ask the officer. Several tickets, multiple points, one or two cans of mace, a couple of bail bonds and a new boyfriend named Chuck later, the 100 Hour Board can proudly share what it has learned.

• Police officers find no humor in pork, pig or porcine jokes


• Although it takes a while to dissipate, a constant stream of cool water helps eyes feel better from a direct hit of pepper or mace spray


• Since speed limit signs are posted at highway entrances, it is hard to find opportunity to ask the question


• Judges do not take kindly to answers in the general form of, "well that's stupid..."

But most importantly, speed limit signs mark the exact beginning of a speed limit zone. Not before or after. This is important to remember as you shift zones. For example, if you see a faster speed limit sign and speed up before you get to it, yep - you are speeding. I suppose some officers conveniently forget this fact as they catch you just before the speed limit drop.

So, the 100 HB does not know on what end of the speed limit and whether a ticket is involved in this question. But you can definitively know - and the bruise marks from the nightsticks remind me - that speed changes at the signage.

The real question though (or debate) is that many speed limits are well below the engineered safe speed limit as it offers a significant revenue stream for towns and states. And in the end also insurance companies that are state certified (you pay points). And in recent times, with budget shortfalls, towns and states are increasing their activity and decreasing tolerence for speeding. Is it fair? Probably not. Does it save you in taxes? Maybe a little. Just don't speed. Or at least go the correct speed under conditions - which in many states allows for faster driving given the 'safe flow of traffic'.

Oh - and those shiny CDs used to deter radars only serve as annoying mirror jewelry. No use.

100HB

PS - the 100HB apologizes for the slow speed in response, mostly attributed to the delinquent behavior by one member of the board. They will be appropriately ticketed and the apt punishment meted out. Probably forced to sit in a disabled vehicle on the Cross-Bronx Expressway during rush hour.

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Musical Logos

Dear 100 Hour Board:

Q: How does the NCAA deal with changing the logos on the basketball floors for various games?

A: Dear Ms. Double-Dribble:

In this world of brand management and recognition it is essential that the drunk masses of March Madness fans from across the nation recognize the team they have shown up to cheer. Or at least the game. Luckily for us and the NCAA Gary Gray, Connor Sport Court's Southwest Regional Manager has a solution. You asked the question and 100 Hour Board went right to the source.
Gray: "Remember those tile games you used to play as a kid? Where you had to shift the tiles around to recreate the image printed on them? Connor Sport Court's offers a solution kind of like that. It's exactly what we did for the NCAA championship."
100HrB: "Exactly, really? Does that mean between games we have NCAA employees working out which tile to move where just to get the next logo in just right? It's like a strategy game in between basketball games. Do the fans just love that?"
Gray: "Okay, not exactly. There floor has a zipper configuration. We start in the center of the arena and work in both directions we incorporated seven panels that can be changed."
100HrB: "Why? Why change them? Why all this musical logo business?"
Gray: "Why? Well...I've never thought of that before."
100HrB: "You sell a product that you haven't defined the need for?"
Gray: (nervous laughter) "No." (more nervous laughter) "I sell a product that enables fans and TV viewers to recognize what game they are watching. With more than 64 games played for the tournament, viewers will flip channels until they find the game they want. It's easier when they recognize the logo on the Quicklock court."
100HrB: "So Quicklock is for ADD channel switchers like my father?"
Gray: "Sounds like a promising niche market to me. Fight ADD with Quicklock."

While Gray works on passing those clinical trials we'll explain Connor Sport Court's Quicklock portable court. It comprises of a concrete substrate, with recycled rubber product- Nike Grind- providing resiliency and shock absorption on the bottom of each panel. This also makes the players jump higher- but just a smidgen. The Maple Flooring is varnished and created in panels that interlock.

But really, Gray is Mr. Corporate America pushing a product that might not be that great. It isn't like his employees have to change the logos. What about ease of use?

100HrB was able to speak with Director of the McKay Events Center at Utah Valley State College, Mark Hildebrand. Mark and his team have less than one hour between basketball games scheduled for UVSC Lady Wolverines and the new NBA Development League team, the Utah Flash.

Hildebrand: "It works great. We take out the Wolverine logos and replace them with Flash logos and have a few minutes to spare."
100HrB: "But how long does this take you?"
Hildebrand: "We put the whole court down in two hours and forty minutes."
100HrB: "And the logo panels?"
Hildebrand: "About 20 minutes."
100HrB: "So you would say that replacing Connor Sports Court's logo panels is easier than finding a second wife in San Angelo, TX?"
Hildebrand: (chuckling) "Well, I don't know about that...don't they shoot new comers who want to stake claim to their girls? We don't have anyone shooting at us."
100HrB: "Alright. So you are afraid to go on record. Let's move on. The question that is really burning is why change the logos? Are fans really that stupid not to know what game they showed up to watch?"
Hildebrand: "It's all part of the experience. The brand of the team. Making the fans feel as though they are a part of the actual team."
100HrB: "But if the teams suck- you know like the...what are they called? Wolverines and Flash? Yeah, well if they suck like these teams do fans really care about brand? Besides who wants to watch women calling themselves wolverines? I've seen X-Men and that guy was hairy.
Hildebrand: (laughing) "No comment."
100HrB: "So it has nothing to do with the gallons of alcohol fans swim in during the games that impairs judgement as to where they are located?"
Hildebrand: "I don't know anything about that. We have a four drink minimum in Utah."
100HrB: "You can't swim in 32 oz. of alcohol?"
Hildebrand: (chuckling again...I swear this man isn't serious) "I don't think so."
100HrB: "How does that make fans part of the team?"
Hildebrand: "We immerse them in visuals and concessions."

So there you have it. The NCAA uses the Quicklock portable panel system that saves trees and makes for quick, efficient turn-around times between games. Oh, it also is a potential helper for those suffering from ADD. What it doesn't do is assist with your foul shot. So keep dreaming Double-Dribble!

HRB

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