1.4.08

Holy Questions Batman

Q: 100 Hour Board,


Couple of questions:

1. Since when did Lief turn into a bearded Vin Diesel- even with a Triple X Shield?
2. Since we're on history- please explain how the Phoenician's were able to live in such peace considering the Romans, King David, Alexander the Great, Babylonians, Assyrians, Hittites,Nebuchadnezzar etc. were surrounding them?
2b. Why after years of peaceful living with mercenaries doing the fighting did the Phoenicians turn to Carthaginians who were war like and pretty much almost successfully conquered the largest power in the world, namely Rome? Seems like a huge paradigm shift- what happened?


(To be continued)


A: Dear Inquisitive,


Let's slow down on all the questions (since these were 3 of 5 you asked in one shot). I can answer this, so let's take this one step at a time.


1. There are no known pictures of Lief. Or depictions. So who is to say he isn't a buff looking viking? Vin Diesel though is bald. So I don't get the confusion. The Triple X has less to do with Vin being a bad-$%# spy and more to do with viking women. (Have you been to Denmark!) Though there is something wrong with the pictures. Horns. Horns weren't typical for vikings - they get in the way of war.

2. Sounds like you know a lot about Phoenician history. Enough to be dangerous.

Historians have traditionally ignored this people, for a variety of good reasons. The chief of which being the answer to your question. They are the proverbial wusses of history. Ie. they paid their way out of being bullied. But were at least smart enough to make money at the same time. (Otherwise your life as a bully boxing bag is short lived).

The Phoenician empire was a rather loose connection of city-states sharing only a new language and similar financial goals, started roughly around 1500 BC. This amorphous group already suggests a reason for living peacefully. Even if one city were conquered by one of the neighbors, it doesn't mean the end. Which is why they are considered to end in 539, no 332, no 286...ok the last city fell in 65BC to Rome.

But in reality they survived solely by buying off the aggressors. The Israelites (as noted in the Bible) with cedars and gold (and a palace), the Assyrians (a whole lot to them), the Babylonians (ie. Nebuchadnezzar, to limited effect), the Persians, Egyptians, and so on. A lot of milk money spent on keeping bullies away. They tried to bluff sometimes, but generally capitulated.

This could only last so long and eventually the Persians, Alexander the Great, Rome, Egypt and others conquered them.

The city of Carthage did step out of the norm and these Phoenicians tried to be aggressive. They attacked the Greeks in Sicily and Italy in retaliation of raids - and were basically pwned on the battlefield. But later, after the fall of most of Phoenicia, they went on to fight the Punic Wars (think Hannibal and the elephants sacking Rome). Why the difference? Well, several reasons: they watched their brother cities get destroyed, they were the largest city of the empire and a little arrogant, they had the most to loose in controlled colonies.

The real sad part? Carthage should have learned. In peace they prospered. When they grew fat and attacked others, they eventually lost. Until their very city was razed and the earth salted. Hmmm...maybe something to learn there. In a nutshell.

There is an interesting essay about 'what if' and Carthage's aggression here.

Regards,

The Answer King
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I Totally Paused...


Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,

You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but can you ever just be..whelmed?

Help.

(6400)^1/2

A: Dear 5x2x2x2x2,

Yes. You can. Although not so much these days. But I'm glad you are cultured and stay up on Alicia Silverstone dialogue. So witty.

According to my research:
Overwhelmed: \ˌō-vər-ˈhwelm, -ˈwelm\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English, from over + whelmen to turn over, cover up
Date: 14th century
1: upset, overthrow2 a: to cover over completely : submerge b: to overcome by superior force or numbers c: to overpower in thought or feeling
and
Underwhelmed: Pronunciation: \-ˈhwelm, -ˈwelm\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: under + overwhelm
Date: 1949
: to fail to impress or stimulate
and again
Whelmed: Pronunciation: \ˈhwelm, ˈwelm\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English
Date: 14th century
transitive verb 1 : to turn (as a dish or vessel) upside down usually to cover something : cover or engulf completely with usually disastrous effect 2 : to overcome in thought or feeling : overwhelm intransitive verb : to pass or go over something so as to bury or submerge it

So let's focus on the timeline. Whelmed and overwhelmed came first. Then 600 years later comes underwhelmed. You can assume that the original words used were whelmed and overwhelmed. And gradually underwhelmed replaced the original word. So unless you are turning a dish upside down on something, you generally won't use the term any more. Or you can refer to Yggur's scary servants on Santhenar - at least according to Ian Irvine in The View from the Mirror. But don't worry they are afraid of light - so bring a flashlight along.

Regards,
I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.
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25.3.08

Vikings Ahead


Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,


Please vindicate me. Where was Leif Ericson from? Denmark or Norway?


Winning the War on Ego


A: Dear Ego Popper


Well, the original European explorer, is not really Danish, Norwegian or anything. Not technically. But if you picked Norwegian, you are probably more correct than Danish.

Thought to be born sometime around 970 AD in Iceland, Leif was the son of Eric the Red, a Norwegian marauder (yes - isn't that every viking?). He was Norse. But even that name is somewhat misleading - as it refers to people of Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Iceland. It is really more of a loose collection of 'Northern' tribes and seafarers. Initially they started in the Scandinavia (Denmark, Sweden, Norway) but by the 11th Century were spread out from Greenland, through England, into Russia all the way down to the Black Sea as also in France (Normans). Odd thinking about Vikings settling in Sicily - but they did. Didn't need the fur then though.


So in this sense Leif is both Danish and Norwegian. But he is believed to stem from a Norwegian line - making him more from Norway. He did travel back to Norway where the king converted him. After converting those in Greenland Leif landed in Vinland, somewhere in Newfoundland - Northeast Canada. The story goes that they found wild grapes so named it Vine Land. Researchers have found Viking settlements on the island. Some even believe they made it all the way to Minnesota. But that's another tale.


I hope your follow-up to this isn't too ego-popping. But beware. If the other person has viking blood in them, you may be in for some pillaging.


Sincerely,

100 hour Board
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18.3.08

War for the White House 2008

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who is the 100 Hour Board voting for, for president?

Regards,

Inquiring Minds

A: Dear Inquisitive,

The 100 Hour Board maintains complete political neutrality in this confusing time. So the private matter of the 100 Hour Board's candidate of choice shall remain such. Private.

But it doesn't really matter, as this insider report from Onion Network News shows.

Regards,

One of the Shadowy Overlords

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8.2.08

Tag - The 100 Hour Board is It

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Finishing up my formal and informal education including: spending a year in a vow of silence among Tibetan Monks learning meditation and telekinetic tae kwon do, finishing my thesis on the General Universal Theory and rewriting the Encylcopedia Britannica in Zulu and Tierra Del Feugan.
Just ended a horrible long-term relationship with HAL. She was way too needy.
2. What is on your to do list?
Attend the award ceremony in my honor to obtain the Universal Sceptre of Objectivity
Answer more questions
Enlighten mankind
Discover the true meaning of Britney Spear’s existence
Finish my wives operators manual for men, titled, “Chaos Theory: A Study on Owning, Operating and Maintaining A Wife that Fits Your Needs.”
Return Stephen Hawking’s and the Pope’s phone calls
Get my printer hooked up correctly to the computer – even Omniscient superpower’s have weaknesses.
3. Where are 5 places you've lived?
Tibet
Eden
Emerald City
Atlantis – but only shortly before it sunk
Camden
Magrathea – where I helped consult on the building of custom-made planets
Kashyyk – home planet of the wookies, where I decided to grow a beard
5. What would you do if you became a billionaire?
I’d have to sell my properties as becoming a billionaire would require cutting back the budget some
Settle on a jet coop instead of maintaining my own fleet
6. Bad habits?
Overt, covert and perverted sarcasm
Always being right
Constantly correcting Mensa members
7. Things that you enjoy?
Being right
Acting in improve sketches
Mocking scientists during convention lectures and taunting them with the right answers
Playing with my children
Surfing the internet for fluff
A big fan of Coupling
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7.2.08

No Reindeer Were Hurt

Q: Dear 100hr board,
What the heck does "gamey" mean?? For example: My husband tries to tell me that something tastes "gamey" and I just don't get what it is that makes it so.
Regards,
"Meat is Murder, Tasty Tasty Murder"

A: Dear Wild Game Inquisitor,

I understand your frustratation, because although difficult to define by taste, there is something to 'gaminess,' that is the taste and texture of wild animal meats. I'll try to best explain.
Meat (I won't define this, assuming you get the idea) is made up of three sections: muscle fibers, connective tissue and fat. Each contributes to flavor and texture in their own way. Muscle fibers are either white or red (white muscles are for quick motions - like a chicken, red for strength - like an ox) which defines dark/white meat, and the differences in pork, poultry and beef. Connective tissues can be really tough (elastin) or when cooked - quite good - collagen - the stuff that makes gelatin and the good taste of roasts. Fat marbling offers 'juiciness' and 'tenderness' in meat.
Muscle has distinct flavors, especially red meat, and especially when cooked. Fat, though, is what gives types of meat its distinct taste. So what influences taste? Animal age, diet, muscle activity and type of muscle. The older an animal is, the more flavor it develops, and gets tougher as the muscles work and develop stronger connective tissues. That's why mutton is stronger than lamb, beef than veal. And diet is a big influence. Beef and chicken in the US are fed fairly standardized diets. And tend to yield mild meat.
So what is gaminess? The mixture of texture and flavor qualities unique to those meats: low fat, tougher cuts better for longer cooking and distinct flavors. The rich, variable flavor (not as 'standardized' as super market chicken) comes from older age, a wild, mixed diet and free roaming. But in the past, some cuisines have let game hang and begin to essentially rot to enhance the flavors. (Oddly, strong flavors - like cheese - often dance near the edge of rotten food flavors)
So if someone eats some meat and says it is gamey, it means essentially (if they know what they are talking about) it is overly strong, hints towards grasses and chemicals in wild food, and is leaner and tougher. You can't get wild game widely commercially in the US - not regulated by USDA - but you can get the idea at restaurants with 'wild' boar, phaesant and ostrich.
If you are vegetarian and not meat-minded, vegetables can be gamey too. Organic - or better put - in season fruits and veggies are the equivalent of 'gamey' vs domesticated meats. But it is harder to find wild packs of carrots or herds of eggplants sweeping across a plain.
Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go find some bone to chew on. I'm craving some meat!
100 Hour Board
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1.2.08

A Little Bubbly

Q: Dear 100hr board,

What is the difference between seltzer and club soda?

Me

A: Dear "Me"

Excellent question - especially if you are looking to get some stains out of your clothes. Or your husbands as he has a tendency to drop things on them.

In short, seltzer water and club soda are essentially the same thing: purified water with carbonation added to it. But there are some subtle differences in modern usage, so I will explain. First, carbonation is the addition of carbon dioxide gases into water to make it bubbly. This also adds carbonic acid H2CO3 to the water, giving it that slight acrid, tangy taste we are familiar with. I'll offer you a quick timeline to help.
  • Original seltzer is bottled from an effervescent mineral water in Niederseltzers Germany
  • 1767: Artificial carbonation is invented in england by Joseph Priestley
  • 1807: Benjamin Silliman of Yale sells the first commercial seltzer water
  • 1830: Lemon-lime, grape and orange, sweet soda water is sold and popular
  • 1838: First soda counter in Phillie
  • 1891: More soda fountains in NYC than bars
  • 1886: Kola nut extract added to coca extract (yes cocaine) as a headache and hangover fix and sold by John S. Permberton in a pharmacy - Coca Cola begins
  • 1893: My hero Hires invents root beer (also a pharmacist)
  • 1920's: "Hom-Paks" (6-packs) and vending machines invented
  • 2006: Coca-Cola made $24 Billion on 'soft drinks'

Now days seltzer water and club soda are basically interchangeable, but club soda ussually has addeds salts for taste (sodium bicarbonate - i.e baking soda, table salt, potassium chloride, etc.) That's why the 100 Hour Board prefers cranberry and seltzer over cranberry and club soda (but some bartenders don't know the difference). Club soda is a great stain remover - including wine. Just ask for some at the restaurant.

The real question is: if you get a club soda stain, what do you use to get it out?

100 HB

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