Board Question

Q:
How do you ask a question on your 100 board?
Flying Cumulus

A: Dear Airborne Nimbus

You just did. Look forward to more.

HRB

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Count It Yourself!

Q: 100hrb
How many times do you say good question(?) to a good question?
The Patronizer

A: Dear 'Patron' of the Board,
2%
But if you count that one of these was actually "excellent question" it is only 1%.
But even if the Board does say 'good question' it may actually be just a lie and we look to make you feel better.
HRB

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Tag - The 100 Hour Board is It

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Finishing up my formal and informal education including: spending a year in a vow of silence among Tibetan Monks learning meditation and telekinetic tae kwon do, finishing my thesis on the General Universal Theory and rewriting the Encylcopedia Britannica in Zulu and Tierra Del Feugan.
Just ended a horrible long-term relationship with HAL. She was way too needy.
2. What is on your to do list?
Attend the award ceremony in my honor to obtain the Universal Sceptre of Objectivity
Answer more questions
Enlighten mankind
Discover the true meaning of Britney Spear’s existence
Finish my wives operators manual for men, titled, “Chaos Theory: A Study on Owning, Operating and Maintaining A Wife that Fits Your Needs.”
Return Stephen Hawking’s and the Pope’s phone calls
Get my printer hooked up correctly to the computer – even Omniscient superpower’s have weaknesses.
3. Where are 5 places you've lived?
Tibet
Eden
Emerald City
Atlantis – but only shortly before it sunk
Camden
Magrathea – where I helped consult on the building of custom-made planets
Kashyyk – home planet of the wookies, where I decided to grow a beard
5. What would you do if you became a billionaire?
I’d have to sell my properties as becoming a billionaire would require cutting back the budget some
Settle on a jet coop instead of maintaining my own fleet
6. Bad habits?
Overt, covert and perverted sarcasm
Always being right
Constantly correcting Mensa members
7. Things that you enjoy?
Being right
Acting in improve sketches
Mocking scientists during convention lectures and taunting them with the right answers
Playing with my children
Surfing the internet for fluff
A big fan of Coupling

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Respect My Authoritah

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board:

2 Questions:

a. Who will win the 2008 presidential election? More importantly who will the VP be?(I'm thinking a Romney/Clinton ticket. ;/)

b. Why in heavens name does blogger need to have word verifications? What are their purpose? Why, oh, why must they be on the otherwise wonderful 100 hour board?

Finally, who decides what the verifications are? Computer generated or human- I've gotten some pretty funky ones.

I HATE WORD VERIFICATIONS-This has got to stop!!!!!

Regards,

"I Like Big [Turtle] Butts"

A: Dear Caboose Aficionado

My toddler pointed out to me that you did not ask 2 questions, but rather 6.

In light of this, the 100 Hour Board will take 600 Hours to answer your questions, exactly 25 days, luckily after Super Tuesday polling.

That being said, the 100HB is not a fortune teller, and cannot tell you what will be, however much that outcome is desired. As for political pundit, it seams the only requirement to be one is to not have a brain, so the 100HB cannot be that either. The Board does however offer you some insite:

a) The front runners right now are Obama for the Dems with 38 delegates (though Clinton is close with 36) and Romney for the Repubs with 72 (next is McCain with 38). The issues regarding state polling are key in each state, as they've helped generate surprises and uniqueness to the primaries. A cross-party ticket is unlikely, mainly because a candidate can't be of the party anymore to run on the other ticket. However the possible entrance of Bloomberg will be interesting. In the 100 Hour Board's opinion - the election will be between Clinton/Edwards and McCain/Romney. Although which is VP and P on the ticket is not clear.

b) From Blogger, "What [Word Verification] this does is to prevent automated systems from adding comments to your blog, since it takes a human being to read the word and pass this step. If you've ever received a comment that looked like an advertisement or a random link to an unrelated site, then you've encountered comment spam. A lot of this is done automatically by software which can't pass the word verification, so enabling this option is a good way to prevent many such unwanted comments." Those bloggers who are more senior and experienced (ie been blogging longer than October 2007, have had issues with spam comments. Word verification makes moderating easier. Please see previous posts regarding the 100 Hour Board and comment posting to help preserve the nature of the question/answer format.

Finally, word verifications come from the same place Family Guy jokes do (as referenced by South Park). Manatees in a giant tank select balls with letters on them in random order. Each sequence then becomes a word to verify against.

100HB

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Freshman Orientation 101

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board:

I'm a new user, but like what I see. But I have to ask you:

Isn't it a little presumptive to label the post "funny," not that it wasn't, but still? [In reference to the 'farts are funny' comments]

oh, by the way please remove the blog owner approval of comments. it's annoying and stifles creativity

BL

A: Dear "I'm only a civil engineer, so please excuse me"

I'll talk slowly so you can follow. :)
The 100 Hour Board is both omniscient and metaphysically omnipotent. That is the 100 Hour Board knows perfectly what is funny or not, and can therefore apply the appropriate labels. The metaphysically omnipotent part comes from an ability to change reality if needs be. So, what the 100 HB says is funny - is. And if you didn't find it as such - then you've lost your funny bone, become boring, or are actually the butt of the joke. (you'll notice I've labeled the post as stupid and board - the stupid is obvious - and that is 'board' not 'bored'.)

As for moderated comments, they are there for 2 reasons:

1. To prevent ad spam from annoying blog spammers
2. So that questions are moderated and kept hidden until the response is given. Although random comments are authorized rather quickly as needed.

If you don't like it, then you can suffer in the darkness of ignorance without our help.

"The light in the darkness" 100 Hour Board

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Like a Missing Sock

Q: Dear Long-Lost 100 Hour Board:

100 Hour Board,
Oh 100 Hour Board,
Wherefore art thou? Why must you be named 100 Hour Board. Refuse thy blogging name. Or if you cannot, swear you love me, and I'll no longer complain.

Regards,
Juliet Complainer

A: Dear Lost without a Guide,
First off, to correct you inquiry, the question "wherefore art thou Romeo" actually does not ask where is Romeo, but more like "why are you Romeo." Then Juliet talks about forsaking his name.
But to answer your question, the 100 Hour Board has been on hiatus, a vacation, for the end of last year. Things were busy of late, and the Board needed time to get things accomplished, such as:

• Negotiate multi-national, trade-relation deals between the US and European countries while at the same time take a cultural tour of host nations
• Conduct a corporate financial audit
• Design, purchase and prepare gift packages for inter-familial relations
• Conduct marine biology studies on native fish and reptile species, including environmental, behavioral monitoring
• Prepare multi-course, gourmet meals featuring various international cuisines

And a whole host of other activities. Hopefully, you all haven't been too deprived. The new season is open for more questions. And remember, applications are still open for open 100 Hour Board positions.

100HB

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Application #1

Well. The 100 Hour Board has caught up some on posted questions, and any inquiries are again open to the general public. The last round was quite good - or answerable (don't know which quality is better). But in the light of requests for help I post the first of many (hopefully) applications. I post it for your review.

• Name: Michael Gary Scott


• Sex: That’s what she said!


• Blogger Name: MISSterious


• Age: 43


• IQ: 4,6053


• Blog examples - prior work – portfolio: My blog
  "I thought my money problems were over, but they aren't; Ed Mickman sent me a personal letter saying I won 10,000 dollars... but it turns out I didn't. Why do they send that stuff out? Jerks. I was going to sue them but Oscar suggested against it, saying I would lose the case and the little money I have now.
  I hate Tuesdays... they are pointless. Tuesdays should be no work day, I never get anything done on Tuesdays because I am looking forward to Thursdays! What day of the week do you guys hate?"


• Education / Experience: 14 years of school (2nd grade twice), some college, Arby’s, successful paper salesman and manager for Dunder Mifflin, winner of 8 Dundies


• A brief but funny anecdote: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And … I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.


• Question Response: Well, 100 Hour Board, lack of knowledge on any single topic should be no reason to keep you from being involved. I wasn’t even able to finish college, but am on the fast track for upper management. Your best bet is to use your practiced ability to do improv. This will help you talk about any thing discussed in conversation. I have been able to talk about sexual harassment, business skills, racism, premature deaths, and many other topics off the cuff. If you are in need of any conversational topic, I suggest focusing on interesting things. Like wilderness survival (I have brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife. A roll of duct tape. In case I need to fashion a shelter, or make some sort of water vessel.), business (There are four kinds of business. Tourism, food service, railroads and sales. And hospitals slash manufacturing. And air travel.), or even rabies (Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies). This should keep you out of trouble. If it still doesn’t work my assistant uses random facts. Like point out that the black line in shrimp is feces. They’ll forget whatever they were talking about. And really think you are cool.

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Board Update

Attention all avid 100 Hour Board Readers;

Seeing as I'm in the shadow of the Rockies in a beautiful resort, with limited connectivity, I have a back log of questions. The 100 Hour Board will answer these within the allocated promised board, but new submittals are temporarily closed until future notice (not long I'm sure).

Additionally, the 100 Hour Board is seeking applications for new members capable of handling the demanding responsibilities associated with sagedom.
Qualifications include:

• Must be able to write - and write well - just stringing nouns, verbs and an occasional preposition doesn't count
• Must be smart. Not Albert Einstein smart, more Isaac Newton. We're looking for the ability to handle multiple disciplines
• Sarcastic, witty and funny - although not all at once
• Blogger member
• Reliable writer that meets deadlines - aka 100 Hours - and responds to assignments delegated by COT100HB (Chairman of the 100 Hour Board)
• Applicant must bring with them a new collection of readers to increase circulation

If you think you fit the bill, then please provide the following application:

• Name (doesn't have to be your actual name - just a name)
• Sex (I'm looking for gender not quality and quantity)
• Blogger Name
• Age
• IQ
• Blog examples - prior work - portfolio
• Education or Experience
• A brief but funny anecdote
• A 100 Hour Board-esque answer to the following question: Q: I am at a party, the type that involves cheese trays, witty banter and cardigans, and my career depends on my ability to gracefully attend to the social occasion (ie. boss's house, client party, networking, etc.) While talking to another partygoer a subject you are not familiar with comes up (say the microeconomic impacts of the industrialization of western Sri Lanka in the last 50 years, or the use of internet protocol gates on fiber optic lines and their impact on data usage, download times and connectivity). I am asked a question regarding my opinion in the matter. So...how do I respond? How do I save face? And what other interesting topic should I bring up to move the conversation along. (Ellen Degeneres suggests always starting with Gloria Estavan - the copper plumbing of the music industry). Points for creativity, wit and making me guffah/chuckle/snortle/laugh/giggle or generally be warmed by humor.

All applications are property of the 100 Hour Board. Applicants will be notified via post in a most embarassing and public way. We are NOT an equal opportunity employer - we don't hire idiots - even if they are savants. Please post your applications as a comment for review to this post.

Good Luck,

100 Hour Board

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1st Question - How do I?

Q Dear 100 Hour Board,
So how do I post my question?
Signed,
My Rebel Took Over

A Dear 'My Rebel Took Over'

First off, is your rebel a reference to an inner child that has taken over your life and begun to send you through a midlife crisis? (Not that you are at the midlife point yet). Or perhaps one of your children - i.e the rebel - has thrown your life into disarray, mounted an insurrection and is now calling the shots (not too far from the truth I imagine). Or perhaps you are referring to the Canon Rebel that took over our laptop and any diaper bag we take along with us. I suppose the later. Good for you.

As for posting your question, you've found the way. (This was an excellent question). You can post a question as a comment. The comment will be moderated and then added as an appropriate question on our board. This one was easy so I use an official time of 2.5 hours. Good way to start the board.

Regards,
Way to Fresh With My Wife for My Own Good.

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Inaugural Post

Q Dear 100 Hour Board:

How does this 100 Hour Board work and what is its purpose? I thought I could rely on my own intuition?

Sincerely,
Confused but Excited

A Dear Confused but Excited,

What an excellent question. It's so perfect for this inaugural post, I'd almost suggest that this was planted. Of course, the 100 Hour Board is not that duplicitous and takes pride in our work ethic and honesty. So I'll continue with an answer to your question.

The 100 Hour Board was created as an extension of my other blog Potop 42, focused on providing a little stream of all that fascinating information out there in the world - useful or not. Figuring that I can put my Rolodex of completely useless trivial facts to use, I created this board. It is a chance for you - dear Reader - to ask any question you'd like - anything under the sun. The 100 Hour Board will then provide an answer within 100 Hours. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - according to us of course.

I adopt the general motto: this is a place for fun. We'll strive to have fun and keep things light. Remember, if you ask something glib and stupid - you'll get a glib and stupid answer.

General Guidelines:

Since the Board does not encourage excuses to be lackadaisical, we are no longer accepting questions whose answers can be found by using a phonebook, calling a customer service provider, and so forth.
Not all questions and comments to the Board will be posted (depending on content)
Board editors reserve the right to edit comments for brevity or other circumstances
The Board may or may not respond to questions asking for professional advice. We are not professionals and cannot answer any questions that would hold us liable.

Have fun, submit and enjoy the reading.

100 HB

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