Vikings Ahead

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,

Please vindicate me. Where was Leif Ericson from? Denmark or Norway?

Winning the War on Ego

A: Dear Ego Popper

Well, the original European explorer, is not really Danish, Norwegian or anything. Not technically. But if you picked Norwegian, you are probably more correct than Danish.

Thought to be born sometime around 970 AD in Iceland, Leif was the son of Eric the Red, a Norwegian marauder (yes - isn't that every viking?). He was Norse. But even that name is somewhat misleading - as it refers to people of Norway, Denmark, Sweden and Iceland. It is really more of a loose collection of 'Northern' tribes and seafarers. Initially they started in the Scandinavia (Denmark, Sweden, Norway) but by the 11th Century were spread out from Greenland, through England, into Russia all the way down to the Black Sea as also in France (Normans). Odd thinking about Vikings settling in Sicily - but they did. Didn't need the fur then though.

So in this sense Leif is both Danish and Norwegian. But he is believed to stem from a Norwegian line - making him more from Norway. He did travel back to Norway where the king converted him. After converting those in Greenland Leif landed in Vinland, somewhere in Newfoundland - Northeast Canada. The story goes that they found wild grapes so named it Vine Land. Researchers have found Viking settlements on the island. Some even believe they made it all the way to Minnesota. But that's another tale.

I hope your follow-up to this isn't too ego-popping. But beware. If the other person has viking blood in them, you may be in for some pillaging.

Sincerely,

100 hour Board

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War for the White House 2008

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who is the 100 Hour Board voting for, for president?

Regards,

Inquiring Minds

A: Dear Inquisitive,

The 100 Hour Board maintains complete political neutrality in this confusing time. So the private matter of the 100 Hour Board's candidate of choice shall remain such. Private.

But it doesn't really matter, as this insider report from Onion Network News shows.

Regards,

One of the Shadowy Overlords

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Tag - The 100 Hour Board is It

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Finishing up my formal and informal education including: spending a year in a vow of silence among Tibetan Monks learning meditation and telekinetic tae kwon do, finishing my thesis on the General Universal Theory and rewriting the Encylcopedia Britannica in Zulu and Tierra Del Feugan.
Just ended a horrible long-term relationship with HAL. She was way too needy.
2. What is on your to do list?
Attend the award ceremony in my honor to obtain the Universal Sceptre of Objectivity
Answer more questions
Enlighten mankind
Discover the true meaning of Britney Spear’s existence
Finish my wives operators manual for men, titled, “Chaos Theory: A Study on Owning, Operating and Maintaining A Wife that Fits Your Needs.”
Return Stephen Hawking’s and the Pope’s phone calls
Get my printer hooked up correctly to the computer – even Omniscient superpower’s have weaknesses.
3. Where are 5 places you've lived?
Tibet
Eden
Emerald City
Atlantis – but only shortly before it sunk
Camden
Magrathea – where I helped consult on the building of custom-made planets
Kashyyk – home planet of the wookies, where I decided to grow a beard
5. What would you do if you became a billionaire?
I’d have to sell my properties as becoming a billionaire would require cutting back the budget some
Settle on a jet coop instead of maintaining my own fleet
6. Bad habits?
Overt, covert and perverted sarcasm
Always being right
Constantly correcting Mensa members
7. Things that you enjoy?
Being right
Acting in improve sketches
Mocking scientists during convention lectures and taunting them with the right answers
Playing with my children
Surfing the internet for fluff
A big fan of Coupling

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No Reindeer Were Hurt

Q: Dear 100hr board,
What the heck does "gamey" mean?? For example: My husband tries to tell me that something tastes "gamey" and I just don't get what it is that makes it so.
Regards,
"Meat is Murder, Tasty Tasty Murder"

A: Dear Wild Game Inquisitor,

I understand your frustratation, because although difficult to define by taste, there is something to 'gaminess,' that is the taste and texture of wild animal meats. I'll try to best explain.
Meat (I won't define this, assuming you get the idea) is made up of three sections: muscle fibers, connective tissue and fat. Each contributes to flavor and texture in their own way. Muscle fibers are either white or red (white muscles are for quick motions - like a chicken, red for strength - like an ox) which defines dark/white meat, and the differences in pork, poultry and beef. Connective tissues can be really tough (elastin) or when cooked - quite good - collagen - the stuff that makes gelatin and the good taste of roasts. Fat marbling offers 'juiciness' and 'tenderness' in meat.
Muscle has distinct flavors, especially red meat, and especially when cooked. Fat, though, is what gives types of meat its distinct taste. So what influences taste? Animal age, diet, muscle activity and type of muscle. The older an animal is, the more flavor it develops, and gets tougher as the muscles work and develop stronger connective tissues. That's why mutton is stronger than lamb, beef than veal. And diet is a big influence. Beef and chicken in the US are fed fairly standardized diets. And tend to yield mild meat.
So what is gaminess? The mixture of texture and flavor qualities unique to those meats: low fat, tougher cuts better for longer cooking and distinct flavors. The rich, variable flavor (not as 'standardized' as super market chicken) comes from older age, a wild, mixed diet and free roaming. But in the past, some cuisines have let game hang and begin to essentially rot to enhance the flavors. (Oddly, strong flavors - like cheese - often dance near the edge of rotten food flavors)
So if someone eats some meat and says it is gamey, it means essentially (if they know what they are talking about) it is overly strong, hints towards grasses and chemicals in wild food, and is leaner and tougher. You can't get wild game widely commercially in the US - not regulated by USDA - but you can get the idea at restaurants with 'wild' boar, phaesant and ostrich.
If you are vegetarian and not meat-minded, vegetables can be gamey too. Organic - or better put - in season fruits and veggies are the equivalent of 'gamey' vs domesticated meats. But it is harder to find wild packs of carrots or herds of eggplants sweeping across a plain.
Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go find some bone to chew on. I'm craving some meat!
100 Hour Board

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A Little Bubbly

Q: Dear 100hr board,

What is the difference between seltzer and club soda?

Me

A: Dear "Me"

Excellent question - especially if you are looking to get some stains out of your clothes. Or your husbands as he has a tendency to drop things on them.

In short, seltzer water and club soda are essentially the same thing: purified water with carbonation added to it. But there are some subtle differences in modern usage, so I will explain. First, carbonation is the addition of carbon dioxide gases into water to make it bubbly. This also adds carbonic acid H2CO3 to the water, giving it that slight acrid, tangy taste we are familiar with. I'll offer you a quick timeline to help.

• Original seltzer is bottled from an effervescent mineral water in Niederseltzers Germany
• 1767: Artificial carbonation is invented in england by Joseph Priestley
• 1807: Benjamin Silliman of Yale sells the first commercial seltzer water
• 1830: Lemon-lime, grape and orange, sweet soda water is sold and popular
• 1838: First soda counter in Phillie
• 1891: More soda fountains in NYC than bars
• 1886: Kola nut extract added to coca extract (yes cocaine) as a headache and hangover fix and sold by John S. Permberton in a pharmacy - Coca Cola begins
• 1893: My hero Hires invents root beer (also a pharmacist)
• 1920's: "Hom-Paks" (6-packs) and vending machines invented
• 2006: Coca-Cola made $24 Billion on 'soft drinks'

Now days seltzer water and club soda are basically interchangeable, but club soda ussually has addeds salts for taste (sodium bicarbonate - i.e baking soda, table salt, potassium chloride, etc.) That's why the 100 Hour Board prefers cranberry and seltzer over cranberry and club soda (but some bartenders don't know the difference). Club soda is a great stain remover - including wine. Just ask for some at the restaurant.

The real question is: if you get a club soda stain, what do you use to get it out?

100 HB

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Respect My Authoritah

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board:

2 Questions:

a. Who will win the 2008 presidential election? More importantly who will the VP be?(I'm thinking a Romney/Clinton ticket. ;/)

b. Why in heavens name does blogger need to have word verifications? What are their purpose? Why, oh, why must they be on the otherwise wonderful 100 hour board?

Finally, who decides what the verifications are? Computer generated or human- I've gotten some pretty funky ones.

I HATE WORD VERIFICATIONS-This has got to stop!!!!!

Regards,

"I Like Big [Turtle] Butts"

A: Dear Caboose Aficionado

My toddler pointed out to me that you did not ask 2 questions, but rather 6.

In light of this, the 100 Hour Board will take 600 Hours to answer your questions, exactly 25 days, luckily after Super Tuesday polling.

That being said, the 100HB is not a fortune teller, and cannot tell you what will be, however much that outcome is desired. As for political pundit, it seams the only requirement to be one is to not have a brain, so the 100HB cannot be that either. The Board does however offer you some insite:

a) The front runners right now are Obama for the Dems with 38 delegates (though Clinton is close with 36) and Romney for the Repubs with 72 (next is McCain with 38). The issues regarding state polling are key in each state, as they've helped generate surprises and uniqueness to the primaries. A cross-party ticket is unlikely, mainly because a candidate can't be of the party anymore to run on the other ticket. However the possible entrance of Bloomberg will be interesting. In the 100 Hour Board's opinion - the election will be between Clinton/Edwards and McCain/Romney. Although which is VP and P on the ticket is not clear.

b) From Blogger, "What [Word Verification] this does is to prevent automated systems from adding comments to your blog, since it takes a human being to read the word and pass this step. If you've ever received a comment that looked like an advertisement or a random link to an unrelated site, then you've encountered comment spam. A lot of this is done automatically by software which can't pass the word verification, so enabling this option is a good way to prevent many such unwanted comments." Those bloggers who are more senior and experienced (ie been blogging longer than October 2007, have had issues with spam comments. Word verification makes moderating easier. Please see previous posts regarding the 100 Hour Board and comment posting to help preserve the nature of the question/answer format.

Finally, word verifications come from the same place Family Guy jokes do (as referenced by South Park). Manatees in a giant tank select balls with letters on them in random order. Each sequence then becomes a word to verify against.

100HB

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Better than Ty Pennington

Q: Dear 'Your the best big brother' 100 Hour Board

How do you frame and remodel a basement?

Critchlow

A: Dear 'You'll grow up like me someday' little brother Critchlow,

Having a tough time with the basement? Moved into the mini-mansion and can't stand it not being finished? I offer you perfect advice.

1. Take a photo of your current basement as is
2. Develop the photos at the local 1 hour photo - or print it out yourself
3. Buy an inexpensive photo frame
4. Place the photo behind the glass, line up the mat
5. Put the frame back together - viola - framed basement

If you want to remodel it, you have several options:

• Buy it a sensible dress from J Crew and lay it on the floor
• Apply for Next Top Model and let Tyra do her work
• Ultimate help - Queer Eye for the Straight Basement
• Apply for While you were out

Now if these are sufficiently helpful for you, the 100 Hour Board asks, why finish the basement? There are plenty of activities suitable for use in an unfinished basement:

• Use it for roller hockey
• Fill it with water and open windows and use it for ice hockey
• If you're doing that, you can add curling and figure skating
• Set up a giant train track
• Roller derby
• Use all 4 walls and floor for chalk drawings
• Run a shoot house for the local SWAT team
• Two Utah words: Meth Lab
• Hydroponic tomatoes
• Start a business to bury mob hits
• Pour dirt on the floor and tell people you live in a home with dirt floors
• Fill it with ball pit balls - and have fun
• Glue foam on the walls and build a recording studio
• Mount trampolines on every surface and go nuts
• Use it to paint murals or graffiti
• Paint the floor and walls like you are looking down from Sky City in Star wars
• Build a miniature city and be your own king
• Dig a swimming pool down there
• Recreate Jabba's palace

If this still doesn't do it for you, try this.

Hope it helps.

HRB

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