Q: Dear Abby:

I'm having a difficult time coming up with something to wear for Halloween. My wife and I want to go as a pair - something that works together, but just are not sure what would work. It's only a costume to walk around the neighborhood with, nothing fancy - but we want to have something flashy. Any ideas oh wise one?

Signed,

More Tricked than Treated (A-Non)

A: Dear Spooked,

What a quandary. I can't say that I can exactly direct your tastes in Halloween atire - but perhaps I can offer some ideas. You take me as a fairly level headed bloke, and are not interested in something mundane like Salt and Pepper, Adam and Eve or the like. Though if you only wore fig leaves around the neighborhood that would definitely make a statement. "Shield the eyes of the kids honey - here come those neighbors!"

No, you need something a little more smarter than the average bear - or ghost for that matter. You suggest something flashy - but I'm afraid you refer to this:

May I offer you a few suggestions.

Ren and Stimpy - the perfect couple. And since you love little rat-sized dog-monsters, that would be a perfect selection. Although you fight it out deciding who is who.

Cheech and Chong - but again, is that sending the right message to your kids?

Gomez Alonzo and Morticia A. (nee Frump) Addams - I take you are both fairly pale. Just dye the hair you can go. Of course you may need to draw in the moustache

Eric Forman and Donna Pinciotti - You already got the redhead. And you are a skrawny, annoying teenage boy.

Trinity and Neo - but that takes a certain amount of coolness and flav to pull off, no not for you UofU boy

for a little more esoteric:

Liberty and Death - Watch out Patrick Henry! Do Lady Liberty and the Grim Reaper

Death and Taxes - The only thing that's sure in this life. (Grim Reaper and IRS agent)

Body and Soul - although I recommend your wife be the example of body - not you

Mary and Pierre Curie - you can use glow in the dark paints

AC / DC - the electrical currents - not the band. Of course that may mean you go as a plug and outlet - maybe too suggestive.

Finally I offer the best suggestions.

Austin Powers and Felicity Shagwell - Groovy baby! You didn't loose your mojo - you never had it. But that is definitely your bag, baby.

Captain Booty & Captain Blackheart - Yeah

The ideas are endless. Good luck - and stay out of trouble.

Sincerely,

Idea Central

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Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Q: Dear 100 Hour Gurus:

Through my travels I have encountered several rainbows and frankly, I think I have honestly been at the end of one. In essence, can one really be at the end of a rainbow? does it just end mid air? In addition, can any geographical area have a rainbow?

Sincerely,
Still questioning colors!


A: Dear Color Confused,

Longfellow wrote:

"My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!…"

I, as you, have a secret passion for rainbows, although given its recent transformation into a symbol for alternative lifestyles, I cannot be as free with my love as before - lest I end up in New Hope, New Jersey. (That's just not my bag - baby) But, even though I share this mutual love, I must tell you that once again (like with the penguin-red debacle), you are wrong. You were not at the end of the rainbow.

Legend might put a lot at the end of the rainbow: gold, the letter 'w', heaven for the Greeks, Asgard for the Norse, for Aboriginals in Australia the end is the giant mouth of a ferocious snake, and so on. But there really isn't any way to find out. Although you may feel you've been to the end, it just isn't obtainable.

You see rainbows are optical illusions. When the sun is low enough in the sky, it passes through small raindrops in the air. The white light is refracted through the drop, with red light less so than blue. As it bounces back out of the drop it is separated as a rainbow. You view the rainbow always directly opposite the sun in relation to yourself. All raindrops reflect the sunlight in the same way, but you can only see those that reflect in your direction. The rainbow is also centered around the head of your shadow - the antisolar point. You can get rainbows in other odd situations - like with cirrus clouds, and with sprinklers - but the same general principles apply. And that's the truth!

Of course, I offer two other pieces of info. You can have moonbows - or lunar rainbows.
Additionally, in Canada they have a different philosophy.
Regards,

Roy G. Biv

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Round and Round We Go

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Sincerely,
Anonymous (Cause who would own up to a question like that?)

A: Dear 'Been-Watching-Too-Much-TV'

You offer quite an interesting dilemma. I think I may be able shed some light and wisdom on this sticky situation. There really are some major issues here, so we need to dissect this a little. Now I can make some assumptions about this from what you've asked. Since the horse is the same size as you, either the horse is eight feet across or you are in a clown car (I don't think a golf cart counts as a 'car'). If this is the case I'd just throw a couple other clowns out of the car who will trip up the zebra, flip the fire truck or at least build up a satisfying barrier to my left that I can crash into. Is the world any worse off with a few less clowns?
Or perhaps - in case that seems too improbable - we look at it a little differently. If the road drops off to the left, then you are either on a highway or, better yet, in Australia, England, New Zealand or some other Empire country. If this is the fact, then the firetruck, which may be traveling your speed, is going in the opposite direction (i.e driving on the left hand side of the road). In that case, wait a second and pull into the opposing lane to either pass the horse, or let the zebra go by.
This may be the case. But if you ask me, I'll just wait til the ride ends, and get off the carousel. (And yes...that I came up myself).
Solomon the Just a Little Wise

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Sand In the Most Uncomfortable...

Q: Oh wise and all-knowing 100-Hour Board,

OK here is one for you to research for me... So we were driving down the shore today and I want to know why as soon as you hit the shore areas.... there is sand everywhere.. even when it is far from the beach/ocean. How does it get there? Is sand actually a type of soil? If it can travel as far as the "outer shore areas" why is it not everywhere? Did this make sense?

Regards,
"I think I'm spending too much time in the sun" Nikki

A: Dear "Down at the Shore"
I've noticed the proliferation of sand in odd places for quite a long time. For example, why do you find sand in bed when it's been months since you've last been? Or even years? And it scratches your legs while you sleep! Well, I did do some research and am ready to dive into this sandstorm for you.

First, the source of sand. Sand is really just granules of rock in small sizes (specifically 1/16mm to 2mm). A little smaller it is called silt, a little larger, gravel. It can be made of a wide variety of rocks, gypsum, quartz, limestone, etc. That's why you get black, white, red and other colored beaches. (My favorite is the black sand beach in Hawaii - although it isn't super safe to swim there - plus very sharp volcanic rocks). In the case of the Shore (i.e the NJ beach, home of salt water taffy, inspiration for Jaws - true story, and very hairy, fat men holding pepper and sausage sandwhiches) the sand is leftovers from glaciers.

A little background. During the Cretaceus period (145 to 65 Million Years Ago) glaciers cut across New Jersey, giving us a wide variety of beautiful features (think of the highlands, gorges, lakes, etc.). At the end of the glaciers (physically) near the shore area of the state, and at the end of the glaciers (they melted) there was a large deposition of sand. Leftovers from sedimentary rock. They call this till - glacial sediment - a wide mix of deposits to include clay, gravel, sand, etc. (Interestingly enough a really sticky form of clay is called gumbo - it's always about food!)

Geologically, in New Jersey, from Freehold south, across to Salem and to the coast is the Outer Coastal Plain. It is the youngest part of NJ - only about 65 to 1.8 million years old (part of the current geological age). And it is sediment - gravel and sand - that goes all the way to the Continental Shelf, some 200 miles off shore. It gets a little more complicated than that, but basically it is part of the landscape - soil. And for that question - soil is a complicated, little understood mixture of liquids, solids and gases. Sand can be a part of soil - along with organics, rocks, etc. In the case of New Jersey Coastal Plain the soil is typically Entisol (basically simple sand, clay, etc.) and Ultisol generally reddish soil that is pretty good but can be exhausted (and has sand in it).

Now this is all well and good - but I will tell you the real truth - not all this geological mumbo-jumbo. Sand comes from the beach - as we all know. And it gets carried back in land by many things - hence you find it everywhere. Wind blows it, animals drag it. But more often than not it is carried in the shoes of little girls, in every crease of the carseats and in human belly buttons.
Oh, and NJ sand is a money maker. It is used in casting metal (think car engines) and is the main ingredient in glass).
Regards,
"I Bet all that info hurts a little more than that sun-burn" 100 Hour Board

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