By the Beads

Q: Dear 100 HB:

How do you use an abacus?

Signed,

Calculator Challenged

A: Dear Antiquity Minded Mathematician

The 100 HB did not know how to use an abacus before this question, and it did take some time to understand the fundamentals of abaci usage. First off, abacus is a Middle English version of a Latin word abax (calculating table). But it is thought to come from Hebrew and Phoenician words for dust. However, the abacus has developed in parallel in multiple cultures, with some in the Middle East, Asia and Europe. The Russian version most know has parallel, horizontal strings with beads of different colors. The Chinese version - most often used now - has vertical strings with an upper section used for 5's.

Before I get into describing how to use the abacus, there are some fundamentals to know. An abacus is NOT a calculator - it does not give you a mathematical answer. The abacus is a tool to help break down calculations into manageable pieces that are easy to go through. The idea is to make math as simple as needed to require little thinking. It will then keep track of your work.

Usually each string is a different units holder: ones, tens, hundreds, etc. Although you can build an abacus with a different base unit all the time. Each bead represents one (or sometimes 5) or any other number you want. These are what you keep track with.

Now...on to math on the abacus. You can do addition, subtraction, division and multiplication fairly easy on the abacus. With some work you can also do square roots and the like. Basically for addition and subtraction: you set the number you will add to (or take from) on your abacus and begin adding the other number one unit place at a time. The abacus can help you carry digits easily (you can use a concept of the residual number - ie. you are adding 6 to 7, clear the 7 and subtract 4 - the residual or 10 minus 6 - after you add a tens digit).

Example: 135 + 321 = 456
Step 1: With rod H acting as the unit rod, set 135 on rods FGH. (Fig.12)
Step 2: Add 3 to hundreds rod F.Step 3: Add 2 to tens rod G.Step 4 and the answer: Add 1 to units rod H leaving the answer 456 on rods FGH. (Fig.13)

For higher functions (like multiplication and division) you actually set both numbers on the abacus spaced apart.

Now instead of laying out a whole discussion here I point you in two directions. The first is an excellent tutorial on each of the functions. The second is an online abacus you can play with.

• Abacus: Mystery of the Bead
• Online Abacus

The whole concept is actually kind of neat, and once you get into the hang of it, you can move along nicely. Just note - to use it you must now single digit addition, subtraction, division and times tables. Otherwise you won't find it helpful at all.

100 Hour Board

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On the First Day of Christmas...Nothing

Q: Hrb:

I am a newly devoted reader to your sage page so if this inquisition has been posed before I beg your forgiveness. Tis the season to be jolly so I thought I would ask a question about Christmas. Why is it I never get what I want?

Yours truly

From a blue blue christmas gift guy!!!

A: Dear Recipient of the Anthracite Stocking Stuffer:

It's tough when you don't get what it is you want. Buck up kid. It'll happen. So let's look at the issues involved with not getting what you wanted from Santa.

1. You're asking for too much. Really, do you expect to get an Aston Martin in a red bow. Please...I don't care how James Bond you are
2. You are asking for something embarrassing to buy. No one wants to be seen in a knitting store, let alone get you a gift certificate there. Or one from Hooters, or from a pet outfit store
3. It's just not called for. Asking for a homemade, pet-sized guillotine is just wrong. So, so wrong.
4. You've been bad. Cheated on your taxes, embezzled, cut someone off on the road, took a grocery cart from an old lady. You name it. Should have made the good list.
5. You're too vague. No one can interpret a request of 'get me something nice,' or 'you know me'. And world peace is nice, but doesn't fit in a box.
6. You moved and didn't send Santa your new address.
7. Santa just doesn't like you. Did you spit on him at the mall? Maybe you peed on his lap as a kid.
8. No body loves you. Not even the man with a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly
9. You actually are getting what you want but your kids are stealing all of them.
10. Your wife burned them all when you forgot her birthday

This covers a good deal of the possible reasons.

Now in case you are interested in what the 100 Hour Board wants for Christmas, here is a short list:

• A female blog to marry - preferably slim, in pink, sexy and a good cook
• The Portable Professor series lectures to learn more
• The Celestron SkyScout - so cool (and the source of the geeky-cool question)
• A trip by Abercrombie & Kent to Patagonia

100 Ho-Ho-Ho Board

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Have Your Cake and Eat it Too

Q: Dear 100 HRB,

Can one be geeky AND cool?

Regards,

Looking for Balance

A: Dear Inquisitor,

This is a difficult juxtaposition you inquire about. We know plenty of just geeky people, generally the pejorative term for intelligent people. They are intellectually enlightened scientists, mathematicians, and yes even geeky car mechanics (like those who can put an engine together in 2 hours with a blindfold on). I suppose any dedication to the indepth knowledge of some topic inspires geekiness, be it physics or comics.

What exactly defines coolness then? Call it what you like; flave, cool, hipness (is that still a term?). I think it revolves mostly around being interesting. Interesting enough that you want to hang out with them, learn from them and just be in their very company. That is cool. It inspires imitation - what defines trends. And you can't manufacture it, you either have it or you don't. It's in your blood, or not. (Side note: The 100 Hour Board sees such a shortage of flave in the world that it regularly goes and donates extra at the local hospital.)

Geeky chief example: Stephen Hawking (yes he's geeky, would you awknowledge him at a party if he called out to you?)

Cool chief example: MC Hammer. (you wanted those pants, but would you let him trim your bushes?), or Sean Connery for the older group.

But can you have both?

Maybe, just maybe. How about those rare gems that are interesting AND you learn something from. Like Alton Brown, the cool king of geeky chefs. That defines geeky and cool. (He even has his own emoticon #8-) ). or maybe the Professor Fink from the Simpsons.

Speaking of the Simpsons - they offer some advice on getting to be cool (even if you are geeky).

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.

Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.

Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square".

Lisa: That song is so lame.

Homer: So lame that it's... cool? Bart+Lisa: No.

Marge: Am I cool, kids?

Bart+Lisa: No.

Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right?

Bart+Lisa: No.

Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here.

Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool.

Bart: Well, sure you do.

Lisa: How else would you know?

If you want a definitive answer, look no further than Potop on his blog. There is the beautiful mixture of cool AND geeky (if only slightly so). The inspiring prose is both interesting AND informative. His coolness can be seen from space. If he mails a letter without postage, it still gets through. If interesting were a gland, his would be bigger than most men's lower intenstines.

So, yes! You can have your cake and eat it too. It's a great life goal.

Sincerely,

100 Hour "Oozing Coolness" Board

PS - the picture is the timeline of coolness (or at least one example of it.)

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Application #1

Well. The 100 Hour Board has caught up some on posted questions, and any inquiries are again open to the general public. The last round was quite good - or answerable (don't know which quality is better). But in the light of requests for help I post the first of many (hopefully) applications. I post it for your review.

• Name: Michael Gary Scott


• Sex: That’s what she said!


• Blogger Name: MISSterious


• Age: 43


• IQ: 4,6053


• Blog examples - prior work – portfolio: My blog
  "I thought my money problems were over, but they aren't; Ed Mickman sent me a personal letter saying I won 10,000 dollars... but it turns out I didn't. Why do they send that stuff out? Jerks. I was going to sue them but Oscar suggested against it, saying I would lose the case and the little money I have now.
  I hate Tuesdays... they are pointless. Tuesdays should be no work day, I never get anything done on Tuesdays because I am looking forward to Thursdays! What day of the week do you guys hate?"


• Education / Experience: 14 years of school (2nd grade twice), some college, Arby’s, successful paper salesman and manager for Dunder Mifflin, winner of 8 Dundies


• A brief but funny anecdote: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And … I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.


• Question Response: Well, 100 Hour Board, lack of knowledge on any single topic should be no reason to keep you from being involved. I wasn’t even able to finish college, but am on the fast track for upper management. Your best bet is to use your practiced ability to do improv. This will help you talk about any thing discussed in conversation. I have been able to talk about sexual harassment, business skills, racism, premature deaths, and many other topics off the cuff. If you are in need of any conversational topic, I suggest focusing on interesting things. Like wilderness survival (I have brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife. A roll of duct tape. In case I need to fashion a shelter, or make some sort of water vessel.), business (There are four kinds of business. Tourism, food service, railroads and sales. And hospitals slash manufacturing. And air travel.), or even rabies (Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies). This should keep you out of trouble. If it still doesn’t work my assistant uses random facts. Like point out that the black line in shrimp is feces. They’ll forget whatever they were talking about. And really think you are cool.

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Clean-up on Aisle 8

Q: Dear 100-hour board:
like it or love it, Walmart seems to be everywhere you turn here in America. Advocates say that it is a great American model of, "make it cheaper, get it sooner" big business that not only helps lower the cost of living for us all - but brings revenue to foreign countries and creates jobs. The Walmart haters crowd often counters with the charge that Walmart destroys American business, and exploits foreign (Chinese) workers. So here is the big question: is Walmart a net good or a net evil? Should I feel guilty when I shop there, or should I revel in the low prices? And who does Walmart really help?Pinching my pennies (hopefully not my morals),
Regards,
"The big 3B"

A: Dear Triple B:
This is a tough question, depending on the moral framework in which you evaluate something as good or evil. But I won’t delve into a discussion of philosophic moral concepts. So I begin with some facts regarding Walmart:
The largest company in the world (2007 #’s)
Revenue $351 Billion
Net Income $11.3 Billion
1.9 million employees (4th largest, number one being People’s Liberation Army of China)
Largest US grocer – 20% of the market
“Always Low Prices” company philosophy

Now a “good/bad” discussion. I will first lay out the facts and then the disputed or grey areas:
Good:
Huge employer with benefits
Lower prices for lower-income families
$51 Billion in current liabilities – money they directly give back for doing business
$264 Billion in cost of goods sold – basically business they create with their vendors
6779 stores world wide
Extend luxuries to lower income parts of the population
Vendor product introduction – they can introduce new products easily to vast #’s of people
336% growth in 10 years – huge return for investors and public
In the US they paid out $890 million in retirement plan expenses
$415 million in charitable gifts
Creates new businesses with new vendors

Bad:
Creates pollution, forces smaller competitors out of business
Foreign product sourcing - especially b/c perhaps we should be more distinguishing with our $ to China
Some lower wages and benefits compared to retailers

Grey area:
Low wages and benefits – ~$10.11/hr but generally less skilled people
Opposes labor unions – is that bad? Good?
Child labor, illegal labor – occurrences but not rampant
Complaints of general unsavory business practices (tax evasion, etc.)

OK…generally there are a lot of issues with a company larger than the gross national product of most countries. Some are valid, others not. Studies show that although a Walmart puts some local businesses out of business, many small businesses benefit. But studies are generally inconclusive (either way). Wages may be lower, and they have huge turnover, but they train very unskilled workers and tons of people want to work there.

So, the main questions regarding Walmart are: Do you believe in free, world markets? Do you believe that free markets level the world playing field? If you don’t than Walmart is evil. If you do, it is good. Not the best answer perhaps, but will you find yourself buying something there this Christmas?
100 Hour Board

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Inside Out

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board:
Apparently, that is some sort of really cool inside joke, Scoreboards. [In reference to the post "Pedal Your Way to Taxes")
Which leads to the question, how do inside jokes differ from any other jokes? Just because two people know it rather than 3 or more?Please explain to me the difference.
Sincerely,
The Butt

A: Dear Butt of the Joke

Inside jokes are not numerically specified. In-jokes are only identified by requiring a priori information in order to understand the humor. The group sizes can be large (although at least must be one less than the number of people on earth to be designated an 'inside joke'. Unless of course all living people have an in-joke, excluding all the dead or unborn ones. But that seems unlikely). Groups include; friends, family, frats, clubs, professions, races, communities, businesses, aficionados, and so on.
That you aren't in the know on these jokes just demonstrates the horribly lonely life you must lead. Just remember, they are not laughing with you, they are laughing at you. I suppose you could even have an inside joke with yourself - or with someone like Gwitter.
And no, the scoreboard joke was not an in-joke, just required mental acuity.
I offer you several examples of inside jokes:

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are sitting around and one of them says "It says here that Professor X has come up with a new theorem that all odd numbers greater than 2 are prime". Each person present thinks to himself:
Mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by Mathematical induction.
Physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is prime...
Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is approximately prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime ...
Mechanical engineer: 3 is prime, 4 is prime, 5 is prime, 6 is prime...
Computer engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime...

or

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

Now these are highly dependent on your scientific foreknowledge. I'll let you decipher them. But I think they're funny. (Especially the computer engineer... :) )

Or one of my favorite is Isaac Asimov's work on tiotimoline, that is so soluble in water, it actually dissolves 1.12 seconds before it comes in contact with it. (Because of the 2 carbon atoms that project into the future and into the past). But I save that for a different post.
Oh and if you don't like this post you can go hopscotch with a camel (you'd get that if you only knew).
Best Regards,
100 Hour Board

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And All That Gunk

Q: Dear 100hr board,

What the heck is the gunk that I have to constantly clean out of my roller-ball type computer mouse? It gums up on the wheels inside and is a pain to deal with, but what is it?

Signed,

Gunkophobic

A: Dear Frequent Cleaner of the Mouse Gunk

There is a definitive term for the 'gunk' you find in your mouse, what I can gather I've seen it referred to as cruft (as in the adventures of Lara Cruft) most mostly referred to as 'mouse-gunk'. This even by official technical guides provided by mouse and hardware manufacturers. Also there are some similar conditions. The 'gunk' that collects in watches has been referred to as 'puls,' but only in some random journals, whether or not this will make it in the wester dictionary (it's not) will be seen.

As to what it is...well that depends on you. Because, for the most part that gunk is you. Gunk is a mixture of dust and what you eat around the computer. (You are what you eat). So it's an amalogam of dust particles, bits of cheese puffs, remains of sandwhiches and what not. So what is dust? You. Dust is primarily made of sloughed off human skin cells. These accumulate and provide a feeding ground for dust mites. Dust mites eat this and then - well - poop. So there's some mite poop in there too. Sounds yummy huh? As you move your mouse around the desk, you collect dust and remnants that collect on the inside rollar bars of the mouse. You cause your own pain.

Now remedies?

First clean up. Dust can be removed by: wiping, swiping, or sweeping by hand, or with a dust cloth, sponge, duster, or broom, or by suction by a vacuum cleaner or air filter.

And don't eat around your computer.

You can clean the mouse easily - using cotton swabs, maybe some rubbing alcohol if you'd like (it sanitizes too!).

You are best off using a mouse pad and buying an optical mouse. They're much easier to use. And if you get a wireless one you don't need to worry about dust on wires (or crinkled wires).

Regards,

The Mitey Mitey Dusttones

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Board Update

Attention all avid 100 Hour Board Readers;

Seeing as I'm in the shadow of the Rockies in a beautiful resort, with limited connectivity, I have a back log of questions. The 100 Hour Board will answer these within the allocated promised board, but new submittals are temporarily closed until future notice (not long I'm sure).

Additionally, the 100 Hour Board is seeking applications for new members capable of handling the demanding responsibilities associated with sagedom.
Qualifications include:

• Must be able to write - and write well - just stringing nouns, verbs and an occasional preposition doesn't count
• Must be smart. Not Albert Einstein smart, more Isaac Newton. We're looking for the ability to handle multiple disciplines
• Sarcastic, witty and funny - although not all at once
• Blogger member
• Reliable writer that meets deadlines - aka 100 Hours - and responds to assignments delegated by COT100HB (Chairman of the 100 Hour Board)
• Applicant must bring with them a new collection of readers to increase circulation

If you think you fit the bill, then please provide the following application:

• Name (doesn't have to be your actual name - just a name)
• Sex (I'm looking for gender not quality and quantity)
• Blogger Name
• Age
• IQ
• Blog examples - prior work - portfolio
• Education or Experience
• A brief but funny anecdote
• A 100 Hour Board-esque answer to the following question: Q: I am at a party, the type that involves cheese trays, witty banter and cardigans, and my career depends on my ability to gracefully attend to the social occasion (ie. boss's house, client party, networking, etc.) While talking to another partygoer a subject you are not familiar with comes up (say the microeconomic impacts of the industrialization of western Sri Lanka in the last 50 years, or the use of internet protocol gates on fiber optic lines and their impact on data usage, download times and connectivity). I am asked a question regarding my opinion in the matter. So...how do I respond? How do I save face? And what other interesting topic should I bring up to move the conversation along. (Ellen Degeneres suggests always starting with Gloria Estavan - the copper plumbing of the music industry). Points for creativity, wit and making me guffah/chuckle/snortle/laugh/giggle or generally be warmed by humor.

All applications are property of the 100 Hour Board. Applicants will be notified via post in a most embarassing and public way. We are NOT an equal opportunity employer - we don't hire idiots - even if they are savants. Please post your applications as a comment for review to this post.

Good Luck,

100 Hour Board

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Pedal Your Way to Taxes

Q: Dear Big-Brother 100 Hour Board
Why in the world is the US bicycling hall of fame located in Bridgewater, NJ? Better make a visit!
Yours,
Love to Bike 80 Miles a Day

A: Dear Biker Babe
The United States Bicycling Hall of Fame was until recently located in Bridgewater, NJ. It is not necessarily an official Hall of Fame, although it receives some acceptance by the cycling community and sponsorships. In fact there is a Cycling Hall of Fame in Westminster, Co - although they are of no relation. You'd think so, maybe one begat the other. But no, I am assured it is an indie location.
The USBHOF was established in 1986 to celebrate the history of racing and velodromes through the founding of a Not-for-profit Corporation funded by both Somerset County and the Borough of Somerville. It originally was founded in Somerville, but moved temporarily to Bridgewater. Currently they are in search of a new home, with most of the museum articles in county storage. Although they loaned all inductee plaques to Home Depot Center - the only active Velodrom in the US.
Their mission is to: "to promoting and preserving the history of bicycling by collecting, preserving and exhibiting memorabilia and artifacts relating to competitive and recreational bicycling, and to the people who dedicated themselves to the sport."
Let me break this down simpler for you:

• Somerville collects $4.52 per $100 of assessed home value - i.e overtaxing burden
• Somerville needs something to do with the money
• Instead of cutting taxes...let's start a museum
• Brainstorm ideas...hmm. Lance Armstrong is looking good
• Let's create a not-for-profit corporation with a board of directors to celebrate biking
• Let's put it all in storage
• Borough: 1, Taxpayers: Nothing

An "overly cynical" 100 Hour Board

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All that Colour

Q: Dear I-Know-You'll-Always-Be-Smarter-Than-Me-100-Hour-Board,

I've read that trees use energy to change the pigment of their leaves in the fall. So, why bother? If this is truly a Darwinian world what possible evolution breakthrough could possible make trees benefit from this? And was there a time when the trees didn't change the pigment of their leaves?

Regards,

A 100-Hr-Board-Wannabe-Critchlow

PS. Why don't you ever comment on Critchlow's Counter?

A: Dear 'Kritchlow'

What the heck is a critchlow anyway? I mean I do think it is hugely more scary than any monster in myth - this 'small, aged, hairy man'. And he tells stories at a counter? Don't you sell anything? Counters are for counting things or selling goods. A hearth, table, den I can understand, but unless your selling me BS, I don't get the counter thing.

As to fall colors. Your first statement is true and false. Some leaves require energy to change color, others don't. Here's the 50,000ft overview first.

• Chlorophyll is used to turn photons into energy used in the CAM cycle of plants to undertake carbon fixation - turning CO2 and water into sugar.


• Chlorophyll is green and makes leaves green.


• Chlorophyll is constantly destroyed by the sunlight and must be replaced.


• The tree slowly shuts down chlorophyll production (clogs the arteries with cork) to slow down energy production as the winter months come. This is a function of weather, drought, age, time cycle from the first leaves, etc. Basically that the energy required to keep the leave healthy and move food around is not justified by the decreased food production in low light months.


• Food is moved from the leaves into the tree slowly in the transition. This takes energy (remember this). You need to keep part of the factory functioning as you tear it down.


• Remaining energy is in the leaves as they fall and used as fertilizer as it rots.


• When chlorophyll dies carotenoids in the leave (that have always been there) emerge from the 'masking' green color - these are yellow, brown and orange (they color carrots, corn, etc.) THIS color change requires NO energy b/c it is a side affect of chlorophyll balance changing.


• BUT...here's where your question comes in...some trees PRODUCE anthcyanins (reds, purples) as the summer winds down and fall comes. This does take energy. And in cooler night temps it happens more (more vibrant colors in bright days - cool nights).
  

So why? Doesn't make sense that trees would still use more energy to create a colour change as the leaves. There are two theories to date (many have come and gone over time).

• Photoprotection: The new colors absorb light and dissipate it as heat. This protects the leaf from damaging rays as the leaf slowly dies. This goes well into the preserve energy production as the leaf shuts down.


• Coevolution: Red leaves may serve as a signal to aphids that they shouldn't eat here. Or that 'specialized' ones should. This is a coevolved function. Although isn't as wide spread to be the whole truth. Some birds and animals are attracted to the leaves perhaps helping with seed distribution.

The truth is probably a combination of the two, that has evolved over time. Sort of like the evolutionary reason young, poorer portions of the population rely on bling (I swear this is a valid evolutionary study...we can talk about that sometime).

So for now - enjoy the leaves changing. I did last week on a drive to Pittsburgh. Oh wow - incredible.

Happy Fall,

100 Hour Board

PS - As to the question of posting on Critchlow's blog...I offer the following reasons:

• Perfection needs no comment


• If art demands critique than is it really art?


• Lack of interesting topics - I mean fart jokes? Really?


• Still confused on why I should talk to a little, hairy old man with the inability to eat ruffage


• I don't need to add any pithy, sarcastic remarks to make you look bad


• I'll wait until you stop making fun of the 100 Hour Board with a link titled "Stupid ?s Dumber Answers"
  

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Holy World Wide Web Batman

Q: Dear 100 Hour Board:
wow... quick response this time! Here is another one:assuming that one has limitless financial assets and no need to attend to any responsibilities (family, jobs, meal preparation) is there any feasible or possible way for someone to finish the internet up to this point in time before dying?
Regards,
Triple B - aka "Too Much Time on My Hands"

A: Oh my, my, my Triple B,

This is a question you will not like the answer to. Let's start by laying some ground rules too.
First, the world wide web is an architectural program that has no single owner. It is considered a complex engineered system with its own idiosyncrasies and phenomena. Also, there are two portions of the WWW; the surface web and the deep web. The surface web includes only the websites and materials you can readily 'find' by searching. These are sites that are hyperlinked and accessible to webcrawlers used by search engine companies. The vast majority of the web is in the deep web - sites unlinked or protected to access from the casual user. This is a huge world you couldn't even access typically, but let's assume from your 'limitless finances' that you can.
Because no one owns the internet, no one knows precisely how many websites exist. Even in creating this post I create a site. And given programs like Amazon use there are infinite arrangements of websites based on viewing content (I don't think these technically count). The last time this was studied was 2005, when they believed there was 19.2 billion web documents on the surface www. In 2001 they estimated 550 billion documents total. This was included into 108,810,358 webpages
- but I don't think this nearly captures it all. With rough estimates and projections I can put this is the ballpark of about 29.7 billion single web pages now. Roughly. Let's call it 30,000,000,001 with this entry.
If you looked at the webpage an average of 2 seconds per page (a way too quick look given content and that load times will probably be at least double that - but let's assume money buys you instant access) you would need 60 Billion seconds - that's 1 Billion minutes or 16.7 million hours or 694444 days or 1902.6 years. Wow! A little beyond your lifetime or financial abilities.
Now if you want the whole web you are looking at about 1.85 trillion pages - taking about 117250 years. A lot of millenia. So forget about it.
Now it's estimated roughly that pornography is about .5% of the internet - so let's say 149 million sites. That would take 4.8 years to look at at 2 seconds a page. That is doable. A not so noteworthy goal to achieve. What's 4.8 years for an eternity of hell?
Then...if you ask about looking at content - do videos count? I mean must you watch the entire video posted to get credit. Than forget even going through You Tube.
So all in all...no dice, it wouldn't work to get through the internet. But maybe in hell you'll spend it rewriting HTML code for the whole www. (By the way the pic is .0004% of the web content)
I do offer some fun corners of the web:

• Archival of first webpage


• Weird Conversions - how many babies do you weigh?


• Find your Celeb Look alike


• Top 15 Manipulated photos

Just to name a few.

Regards,

Mired in the Web

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