Application #1

Well. The 100 Hour Board has caught up some on posted questions, and any inquiries are again open to the general public. The last round was quite good - or answerable (don't know which quality is better). But in the light of requests for help I post the first of many (hopefully) applications. I post it for your review.

• Name: Michael Gary Scott


• Sex: That’s what she said!


• Blogger Name: MISSterious


• Age: 43


• IQ: 4,6053


• Blog examples - prior work – portfolio: My blog
  "I thought my money problems were over, but they aren't; Ed Mickman sent me a personal letter saying I won 10,000 dollars... but it turns out I didn't. Why do they send that stuff out? Jerks. I was going to sue them but Oscar suggested against it, saying I would lose the case and the little money I have now.
  I hate Tuesdays... they are pointless. Tuesdays should be no work day, I never get anything done on Tuesdays because I am looking forward to Thursdays! What day of the week do you guys hate?"


• Education / Experience: 14 years of school (2nd grade twice), some college, Arby’s, successful paper salesman and manager for Dunder Mifflin, winner of 8 Dundies


• A brief but funny anecdote: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And … I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I got out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.


• Question Response: Well, 100 Hour Board, lack of knowledge on any single topic should be no reason to keep you from being involved. I wasn’t even able to finish college, but am on the fast track for upper management. Your best bet is to use your practiced ability to do improv. This will help you talk about any thing discussed in conversation. I have been able to talk about sexual harassment, business skills, racism, premature deaths, and many other topics off the cuff. If you are in need of any conversational topic, I suggest focusing on interesting things. Like wilderness survival (I have brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife. A roll of duct tape. In case I need to fashion a shelter, or make some sort of water vessel.), business (There are four kinds of business. Tourism, food service, railroads and sales. And hospitals slash manufacturing. And air travel.), or even rabies (Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies). This should keep you out of trouble. If it still doesn’t work my assistant uses random facts. Like point out that the black line in shrimp is feces. They’ll forget whatever they were talking about. And really think you are cool.